You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
