I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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