I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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