U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
