what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
