The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
