i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
