he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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