I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Randomize
