i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
