I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
