She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize