I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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