and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
