i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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