So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
