If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
