Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
