You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
