I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
