sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
