what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
