I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We are two peas in an std pod
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
