so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
