I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
