$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
