Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
