so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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