why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
be right there i have to get my cape
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
