That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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