Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
