i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
