He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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