you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
