Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
