david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
vagina is talking i cant
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
