I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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