just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
