okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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