Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
No subtext here. People are naked.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
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