You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
