she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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