I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
No subtext here. People are naked.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
