she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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