A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
