And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
