What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize