I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
