He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
