i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
