Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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