True but thats because hes a fetus.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I did not marry a roomba.
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