Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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