I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
