I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
