is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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