Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
